*me, owning a strange boutique housegoods/book store selling a variety of mystic, occult objects but no one realizes I live there, this is literally my living room*
How much for this stick I can shake at God?
10 bucks
can i get these three backscratchers with a bundle discount
15% discount for 3 or more
How bout this book? I think it’s look cool with a cosplay I’m planning
40 bucks but never attempt to read or open it
How much is the doll?
Oh that? Just take it. Take it far far away and do not allow it to return
How about this?
$29.99. Just be careful not to leave the candles burning at night, the gremlin comes alive and likes to wander around and go through your stuff
Hey this chair looks cool, how much?
the chair chooses its owner. sit down and see if it likes you
Every time we take my dogs collar off my mom pets his ears and repeats “you’re nakey!” in a babytalk voice
Fairly certain that’s a universal experience for all human dog owners.
My dog is told “Would you like to wear your jewelry?” And becomes excited. He then chooses which necklace he’d like. He has a few and they all have to have tags on them. I discovered this because I bought him a second collar and he refused it with a sneeze that usually is his equivalent of “fuck you”. I asked him why he didn’t like it. He did a dance. I don’t know how I figured it out, but I remember putting the new collar on him and seeing him still beg for the older one and thinking “there’s got to be a reason”. It occurred to be that he might want a little jingle. So I took an old keychain bauble and put it on his collar and he was so happy I thought he’d leap outside. The whole walk, he pranced around like a prize pig. So I realized that the collar couldn’t be a collar. It had to be a necklace. And now he has a large selection for every season, each with a set of tags that have his name and some sort of jingle decoration.
Sometimes he gets downright picky. He has one that has the Batman symbol on it and he prefers that most of the time, but recently the tags on it broke and he flat out refused to walk until I’d transferred the tags from another collar to it. But he has to choose the tags, and he happened to pick a set that were difficult to remove. But it has to be that pendant on that necklace or he’d piss himself right there in protest.
